Saturday, 15 June 2013

Cele mai dificile doua intrebari / The Two Most Difficult Questions


English version follows in the second part of the post


Cele mai dificile doua intrebari
de Arielle Essex, trainer & coach

"Acolo unde exista iubire, nu mai exista nicio intrebare."
Albert Einstein


Stiti care sunt doua dintre cele mai dificile intrebari din lume? La prima vedere acestea par atat de familiare si este usor sa ne gandim la raspunsuri simple. Si poate ca sunteti atat de obisnuiti sa dati raspunsuri superficiale incat nu v-ati obosit sa explorati si mai mult. O mare greseala! Raspunsurile pe care le dati la fiecare dintre aceste intrebari va determina succesul fericirii, relatiilor si sanatatii voastre.

Prima intrebare este "Cine esti?"
In mod evident, pentru a raspunde sincer este nevoie sa mergi dincolo de numele tau, de sex, de profesie sau de rolul tau in cadrul familiei. Si nu este suficient nici sa raspunzi doar cu "o fiinta umana". Desigur, poti sa insiri o multime de adjective: onest, bun, generos, muncitor, amuzant, curios etc. Insa vor insuma acestea cine esti tu cu adevarat?

Poate ca te descrii ca fiind un artist, un rebel, cel care invata, un luptator, un explorator sau un cautator al spiritualitatii. Sau poate ca mergi si mai jos si ajungi la o masa fizica de celule, molecule, atomi si energie. Iar daca simti energiile emotionale care iti curg prin corp, suflet si spirit, poate ca te apropii si mai mult de adevar. Insa acre dintre aceste sentimente esti tu cu adevarat?

In cartea metafizica "Un curs in miracole", toate emotiile sunt reduse la doua: iubire si frica. De fapt, toate emotiile negative deriva din frica. Furia apare atunci cand te temi ca ceva ce tu pretuiesti (ca de exemplu teritoriul tau, corpul tau sau o posesiune de pret) este amenintat sau atacat. Tristetea apare atunci cand crezi ca ai pierdut ceva sau pe cineva iubit datorita fricii ca lucrurile nu vor mai fi niciodata la fel. Vionvatia apare atunci cand iti este frica ca ti-ai violat propriile valori. Iar daca iti este frica ca acea greseala este de neiertat atunci te vei simti si mai putin demn ca om.

In oglinda, iubirea este mult mai mult decat o emotie bazata pe iluzii false. Ea are substanta fizica. Iubirea este mai mult concluzia a cine esti tu. Chiar daca poate ca nu esti constient de acest lucru, iubirea sta la baza a tot ceea ce este. In noua sa carte "Ce este iubirea?", Robert Holden spune ca intrebarea "Cine esti?" este aceeasi cu intrebarea "Ce este iubirea?" Amandoua intrebarile sunt dificile. Amandoua par extrem de dificil de identificat. Iar cuvintele ajuta doar de foarte putine ori!

A doua cea mai dificila intrebare este "Ce vrei?"
Din nou, poate ca te gandesti ca este usor sa insirui lucrurile pe care le vrei. De la cumparaturi marunte si pana la visuri marete, schimbari de cariera, o casa, relatii, evolutia catre iluminarea spirituala - crezi ca stii ce anume vrei. sau, poate, te gandesti ca vrei sa traiesti in acum, doar sa fii, sa iubesti, sa faci ce poti mai bine sau sa traiesti starea de flux.

Atunci cand te gandesti mai atent la intrebare, vei descoperi cum iti petreci timpul incercand sa obtii ceea ce vrei. Tot ceea ce faci implica o alegere. Intreaga zi este o alergare dupa una sau alta, punand lucrurile in ordine, initiind un nou proiect, deschizand usi, visand la idei noi, construind ceva, discutand pe indelete ceva, obtinand confirmarea altora, finalizand o sarcina, avand un conflict, distrugand ceva sau adunand mai multe elemente impreuna. Oare de cate ori aceasta goana a vietii nu te-a facut sa uiti ca toate acestea implica o alegere?

Ai observat ca aceste doua intrebari sunt strans legate? Cine crezi tu ca esti va determina intr-o foarte mare masura ceea ce crezi ca vrei. Cine crezi tu ca esti determina de asemenea si care parte a creierului tau este implicata in a face aceste alegeri importante. In oglinda, alegerile pe care le faci determina cine anume crezi ca esti tu. Indiferent de ce anume iti spui tie sau altora, ceea ce faci, modul in care te comporti si ce anume vrei dezvaluie identitatea ta adevarata.

Cat de bine te cunosti? Cat de bine iti cunosti menirea in viata? Viata devine atat de plina incat cei mai multi oameni nu se opresc astfel incat sa exploreze astfel de intrebari pana cand nu apare o criza. Atunci cand fiecare zi este umpluta cu alergatul dupa obiective, dupa satisfacerea nevoilor si dorintelor, stresul continua sa creasca pana la un punct maxim. Si atunci apare ocazia pentru a face o reanalizare. Apoi poate aparea o cotitura. Apoi apare schimbarea.

Aceste doua intrebari dificile sunt, de asemenea, cruciale in orice proces de vindecare. Pentru ca 95% din boli sunt datorate stresului, fiecare criza de vindecare ofera oportunitati semnificative pentru schimbare. Remisiunile spontane sunt adesea precedate de un moment de cotitura. Apare o intelegere, o detasare, iertarea, acceptarea sau predarea. Dupa obtinerea unei perspective mai adanci si mai profunde legate de cauza stresului, nu mai ramane de obicei nimic altceva decat o privire pozitiva neconditionata sau o iubire profunda. Si poate ca atunci incepi sa ai mai multa claritate asupra cine esti si ce vrei cu adevarat.

"Suntem alegerile noastre."
Jean-Paul Sartre



The Two Most Difficult Questions 
by Arielle Essex, trainer & coach
 
"Where there is love, there is no question."
Albert Einstein 


Do you know the two most difficult questions in the world to answer? At first glance they seem so familiar, it's easy to think of simple responses. You may be so used to giving glib answers that you never bothered exploring further. Big mistake! The answers you give to each of these questions will determine the success of your happiness, relationships and health.

The first question is 'Who are you?'
Obviously, to answer this truthfully you must go beyond your name, your sex, your job role, or your position in the family. 'Human being' doesn't do it justice either. Of course you could string together a whole line of adjectives: honest, kind, generous, hard working, fun, curious, etc. But would that really sum up who you are? 

Maybe you describe yourself as an artist, rebel, learner, fighter, explorer, or a spiritual searcher. Or perhaps you chunk down into being a physical mass of body cells, molecules, atoms swirling with energy. If you start feeling the emotional energies that flow through your body, soul and spirit, you might be getting closer to the truth. But which feelings are truly you?

In the metaphysical book 'A Course in Miracles' all emotions get boiled down into two: love or fear. In fact, all negative emotions actually derive from fear. Anger occurs when you fear something you value (like your territory, your body or a treasured possession) is under threat or attack. Sadness occurs when think you've lost something or someone you love and therefore fear that things will never be as good again. Guilt occurs when you fear that you've violated your own values. If you fear the mistake is unforgivable will feel less worthy.

Conversely, love is more than just an emotion based on false illusions. It has physical substance. Love is more like the bottom line of who you are. Despite the fact that you might not be aware of it, love underlies almost everything. In his new book 'Lovability', Robert Holden, says the question 'Who are you?' is the same as asking 'What is love?' Both are difficult to answer. Both seem extremely hard to pin down. Words seldom do either justice!

The second difficult question is 'What do you want?'
Again you may think it's easy to reel off a string of things you want. From small purchases to big dreams, changes in career, home, relationships, all the way to becoming spiritually enlightened - you may think you know what you want. Or perhaps you think more in terms of wanting to live in the moment, just being, loving, giving your best, or experiencing the flow.

When you think more carefully about the question, you'll begin to notice how your time is spent endlessly fulfilling things you wanted. Everything you do involves a choice. All day long it is a series of chasing after this or that, arranging things, starting a project, opening doors, dreaming up new ideas, building something, talking it through, getting agreement, finishing a task, having conflict, tearing something apart or bringing things to a close. How often does the busy-ness of life cause you to forget each of these involved a choice?

Have you noticed that these two questions are intimately related? Who you think you are will determine to a great extent what you think you want. Who you think you are also determines which part of your brain gets engaged to make these important choices. Conversely, the choices you make determine who you really think you are. Irrespective of what you tell yourself or say to others, what you do, how you behave, and what you want all reveal a more truthful identity. 

How well do you know yourself? How well do you know your purpose? Life gets so busy most people don't stop to explore such questions until a crisis occurs. When everyday is filled with chasing after goals, getting those needs and wants fulfilled, the stress can build up until a crescendo occurs. Then there's an opportunity for re-assessment. Then a shift can occur. Then change can happen.

These two difficult questions are also crucial for healing. Because 95% of illnesses are caused by stress, each healing crisis provides important opportunities for change. Spontaneous remissions are always preceded by a moment of shift. There's some realization, a letting go, forgiveness, acceptance or surrender. After reaching a deeper and more profound perspective about the cause of the stress, there's usually nothing but unconditional positive regard or deep love. Perhaps it is only then that you begin to have more clarity about who you are and what you really want.

"We are our choices."
Jean-Paul Sartre

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